You know how there is a member within every family who drives you crazy, but without them in your life, something is ripped from your world in ways that leave you reeling? Every family or friend group has such a member who cannot be replaced, even though they do things that drive someone in the family and friend group to the brink of madness on occasion. It is always the one person who you most wish you could strangle at the drop of a hat, and yet you still have to acknowledge loving them dearly no matter what they do when all is said and done. Perhaps your crazy driver family or friend is the uncle at Thanksgiving, or Christmas who pulls the most idiotic pranks imaginable on everyone he can nail with a gag gift or whoopee cushion before he goes home. Being targeted makes everyone but the victim laugh hysterically, and there are always multiple victims before the visit is done so each victim has a laugh and a moment of abject embarrassment. I know you can relate to this example because everyone has such a person in their lives, even if they are not prankster uncles.
For some people it is a single sore spot that throws chaos and anger into the mix of otherwise wonderful relationships that everyone cherishes. Except, the sore spot is always there, and it is a huge elephant in the room some days when one of the pair of people is in the mood to poke the injured bear. A great and close relationship is strained with each demand to look at the sore spot. One or both people are too damned stubborn to give ground at the end of the ever escalating arguments which always seem to have a root of genuine caring about them, so one must always refuse to accept the answer due to assuming they are doing it for the other's good. You cannot hate them because you know they believe with every fiber of their being that they are trying to help you, and take care of you in their awkward fashion, with their heart on their sleeve in such cases. Every other topic is great, and our interests are always very similar in nature. Both love our specific work or artistic hobbies and can spend hours discussing unique aspects of different chosen disciplines. Yet that never easing, single sore spot always remains to cause hurt, confusion, and strain. It is always a subject that neither can let go of, and must always prod sooner or later, exactly as the prankster Uncle can not stop pulling pranks that amuse everyone except the whoopee cushion enduring victim.
In my case, it was religion that strained and ultimately destroyed an otherwise awesome relationship. Perhaps I should say, it was my refusal to convert to a different faith than I know is correct for me that drove Tim Walker, my ex; my crazy, no matter what he does- he's family and my friend forever member, to ever greater and obnoxious lectures until we could no longer live together. The religion difference sore spot kept getting worse due to my refusing to become a Jehova's witness for close to 20 years, among other issues.
Sadly, the Monday before Thanksgiving, our son went to check on his father who had not answered his phone as I understand the situation. He found his father's corpse which was two or more days old and our family's world tilted on it's axis in ways that defy explanations. Tim Walker left a suicide note stating he could no longer stand being in chronic pain and trapped on medications so he was going to remedy the situation. Tim killed himself because of multiple factors, but I think the job loss was the final straw for the man's pride. We do not know how many days he was dead before Ashton went to check on him and his body was discovered.
The day before Thanksgiving was the first time we were able to go into the house and start packing Tim's belongings so the land lord could remodel and rent the two bedroom again. At first we were told to take our time and thought that meant we had a month to get everything done. Yet without warning, we were given a total of 15 days to clear out and strip bare a two bedroom place that had far too much stuff crammed into nooks, crannies, closets (3 of them) cabinets and drawers. Ashton and I were informed of the change in plans during day 8 of our 15 day grace period no less. A wonderful friend of the family loaned us his chevy S-10 pickup truck for this insane ordeal. 7 crammed so tight I had no rearview mirror truck loads of things made it to my home, and Ashton took even more truck loads once someone else chose to loan us a second truck that did not have a shell on the truck bed.
Complicating matters even more, we did not have the funds to get Tim Walker moved from the police morgue into an actual mortuary for almost a month. To raise the money, we have been on constant yard/estate sale status plus taking things to various stores that purchase/consign things to raise the money needed to cremate Tim Walker. I have begun doing the weekend Tanque Verde Swap Meet seller booths to clear out space in my own 1 bedroom apartment. Soon I should be able to walk around in my home and yard again. Needless to say, it took 3 weeks of constant running, packing, unpacking, and dealing with horrible people to get the funds together to cremate Tim Walker since his job loss caused the cancellation of his life insurance policies and everything else. Tim had no burial plan or pre paid anything to fall back on so his body was stuck in the police morgue as no Mortuary will touch a body until such time as all their fees are paid up front. It was a bad 3 weeks of dealing with utility companies and everything else that is involved with death. But, we managed to sell enough tools that Tim owned to get his cremation paid for so that a mortuary/funeral home would do their job.
Tim's Ashes came home to me on Christmas Eve, December 24th 2015. Despite the fact that we could never find peaceful ground when it came to religions, Tim Walker has always been the one relative and friend that drove me crazy, and yet so totally fit a specific nitch in life that nobody else will ever fill, nor would I wish for anyone else to try to fill Tim Walker's space. WE still have a ways to go before the Wake can be scheduled and Tim's ashes can be taken to the place he loved most in the mountains, but I will keep plugging away at the selling of Tim's possessions every Friday and Saturday until every permit and the like is gotten, and he is at peace in the after life. I made a promise to him 25 years ago. Despite people not understanding how obsessed I am with keeping my word at times, I will persevere through the spring when I hope to take Tim to the Black River area he loved to fly fish so much. I know it is a place e loved a lot, so it is the only fitting place to take his ashes.